Newborn days · 4 min read
Who can hold the baby, and nobody kisses
Everyone wants to hold the baby, most of it is harmless, and there is exactly one rule worth being genuinely firm about.
It is not about germs in general. It is about cold sores, and the reason is specific.
Last updated August 20, 2026
The rule, and why it is not fussiness
The NHS states it plainly: people with a current cold sore, or a recent history of cold sores, should not kiss your baby.
The reason is that herpes can be very serious for a young baby, whose immune system might not have fully developed to fight off the virus. The risk window is specific too — a baby is thought to be most at risk in the first six weeks after birth.
The virus that causes an ordinary cold sore on an adult, which is a nuisance and nothing more, is not an ordinary illness in a newborn. That asymmetry is the whole point, and it is why this is worth a slightly awkward conversation.
Where a kiss is safe
The NHS gives a usable answer rather than a blanket ban, which helps enormously when you are trying to hold a line with family.
The safest place to kiss your baby is on the top of their head. Kissing near their mouth, nose or eyes should be avoided.
That gives you something to offer instead of a refusal — not nobody touches the baby, but not on the face.
The two routes people do not think about
It is not only kissing, and these two catch people out because they involve the parents rather than visitors.
A blister caused by herpes on the breast can pass the virus during feeding, including through expressed milk from that side. If you have one, that needs advice before the next feed rather than after it.
Blisters on the fingers — herpetic whitlow — can also spread it. Someone with a sore finger is not the person people think to stop.
If you are a parent who gets cold sores yourself, this does not mean staying away from your own baby. It means being careful while one is active: wash your hands, do not kiss them, and cover it if you can. Ask your midwife or GP for advice specific to your situation.
How to actually say it
Say it before they arrive, not at the door. A message ahead of a visit is easier for everyone than a correction with the baby already in someone's arms.
Make it a rule rather than a judgement about them. "We have been asked not to let anyone kiss her near the face for the first six weeks" is easier to hear than anything phrased as a suspicion.
Give them the alternative — top of the head, or the feet, which most people happily accept.
Let the partner carry it where possible. The person who has just given birth is the least well placed to be enforcing rules with their own family, and this is one of the more useful things a partner can own.
And if someone does kiss the baby on the face, do not spiral. Note it, watch for the symptoms below, and ring if any appear.
Symptoms that mean call today
A fever of 38C or above in a baby under six weeks — which is already an urgent call on its own, for other reasons covered on the newborn fever page.
Being unusually irritable, or feeding poorly.
Any sores or blisters on the skin, in the mouth, or around the eyes.
Call 999 immediately for lethargy, floppiness, a rash that does not fade when pressed, seizures, or breathing that is not normal.
Common questions
- Isn't this a bit over the top?
- It is a narrow rule with a specific reason, which is different from general germ anxiety. The NHS advises that people with a current or recent cold sore should not kiss a baby, because a newborn's immune system may not be developed enough to fight the virus. Being relaxed about visitors generally and firm about this one is a coherent position.
- What if the person has no cold sore right now?
- The NHS wording includes a recent history of cold sores, not only a visible one. If you would rather not have that conversation with each person individually, a blanket no-kissing-the-face rule for the first six weeks is easier to state and avoids singling anyone out.
- I get cold sores. Can I kiss my own baby?
- Not while one is active, and this is worth raising with your midwife or GP for advice specific to you rather than deciding alone. Careful handwashing matters, and so does not touching the sore and then the baby. It does not mean keeping away from your own child.
- Someone kissed her on the cheek. What now?
- Do not panic — most kisses transmit nothing. Watch for fever, irritability, poor feeding or any sores on the skin or in the mouth, and ring your GP or 111 if any appear. Knowing what to look for is the useful response, not going back over it.
- How long do we keep this up?
- The NHS identifies the first six weeks as the period of highest risk, which is why that is the number most parents are given. Plenty of families relax the face rule after that and keep handwashing going longer.
If it's this, not that
Still not sure
This page is the general answer. Yours is a specific child.
The advisor can be. It has read everything here, and it knows how old your children actually are — which is the whole difference wherever guidance changes with age. Ask it anything.
- She's got a temperature of 100. Is that something to worry about?
- He's obsessed with space and galaxies — what toys are worth getting him?
Free. It comes with the note.
It answers from the same cited pages you are reading, and when the question is where to go, from the real clinician, hospital and childcare records behind this site — not a link to go search them yourself. It says so when we have not written about something, and it is not a doctor; for anything urgent it gives you the threshold and tells you to call.
Where this comes from
- Neonatal herpes: how it spreads, visitor advice and warning signsNHS
- A pediatrician on newborn visitor rules and why no kissingPedsDocTalk
Every claim on this page traces to one of these. See every source we use →
Written from the sources named above, and it is not a substitute for your own doctor. If something feels wrong to you, that instinct is a good enough reason to call — you know yourself and this family better than any page does.